The Leader’s Guide to More Powerful 1x1s
It's 3 PM on Thursday. You're rushing into another 1x1 with your team member. You haven't looked at your notes from last time, there's no real agenda, and honestly? You're hoping they'll keep it short because you have three more meetings after this.
Twenty minutes later, you walk away knowing they are "busy" and "things are going well." But you have no idea if they are actually engaged, struggling with anything meaningful, or even thinking about staying with the company long-term.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. That's why I created my 👉 FREE 1x1 TRANSFORMATION GUIDE to help you turn these meetings into the leadership tool they should be.
What Leaders Often Miss in 1x1s
The problem isn't that leaders don't value 1x1s: It's that they approach them like administrative tasks instead of leadership opportunities.
Here's what this typically looks like in action:
You control the entire conversation while your team member sits there waiting for their turn to speak. The agenda (if you even have one) jumps around based to whatever fire needs putting out that week. Most of the time gets spent reviewing completed tasks rather than planning ahead or coaching.
When 1x1s run this way, they feel transactional. Nobody gets energized. Real development doesn't happen. And the relationship between you and your team members stays surface level. If this pattern keeps repeating, usually the 1x1s stop happening altogether.
The Four Ways Leaders Sabotage Their Own 1x1s
Even leaders with the best intentions fall into patterns that kill the effectiveness of these meetings:
Taking over the conversation: You end up doing 70% of the talking, turning your team member into a passive listener instead of an engaged participant.
Playing calendar roulette: Constantly moving or canceling these meetings signals that your team member's growth isn't really a priority.
Running task management sessions: The entire focus stays on what got done rather than developing capability, removing obstacles, or strategic alignment.
Operating without direction: Letting the conversation wander based on whatever comes up, rather than building momentum toward meaningful outcomes.
If any of these sound familiar, don't worry. Small adjustments can completely change the dynamic.
What High-Impact 1x1s Actually Do
The best leaders use 1x1s to do more than catch up—they use them to coach, align, and empower.
Well-run 1x1s:
Build trust through consistency and presence.
Shift ownership to the team member by letting them shape the agenda.
Surface small problems early—before they become performance issues.
Reinforce shared priorities and values.
They also give you, as the leader, a regular window into how your team is thinking—not just what they’re doing. That insight is gold.
What Effective 1x1s Actually Accomplish
Leaders who master 1x1s use them strategically. These aren't just catch-up sessions:
They are coaching opportunities that drive real results.
Here's what changes when you get this right:
Trust deepens because you show up consistently and create space for authentic dialogue.
Your team takes more ownership when they help shape what gets discussed rather than just responding to your questions.
Problems surface early while they're still manageable: Instead of exploding into performance crises.
Everyone stays aligned to what matters most, not just what's urgent.
Plus, you get regular insight into how your team actually thinks about their work, their challenges, and their future. That perspective is invaluable to your retention efforts
Three Changes You Can Make Right Now
You don't need a complete overhaul to transform your 1x1s. Strategic tweaks create dramatic improvements. Here are three things you can implement immediately:
Set up shared documentation. Use something like Google Docs, Notion, or OneNote where both you and your team member can add agenda items and track commitments. This creates joint ownership of the conversation.
Monitor the talking ratio. If you're dominating the conversation, start embracing strategic silence. Ask better questions and give your team member space to think out loud.
Build in both performance and development. A good structure keeps things focused while staying flexible. My 👉 FREE TRANSFORMATION GUIDE walks you through a framework that balances accountability with growth.
The goal isn't rigid meetings: it's creating predictable space where meaningful conversations can happen.
Real Results From Real Changes
I worked with a manager who was frustrated because his 1x1s felt like a waste of time. His team would give surface-level updates, and he'd leave feeling disconnected from what was really happening.
After shifting to a shared agenda and changing how he facilitated the conversations, two things happened quickly:
His team started raising concerns and ideas before they became urgent issues. The clarity from each conversation reduced the need for constant follow-up throughout the week.
The meetings stayed the same length - 30 minutes, but the impact multiplied. His team felt more supported, and he felt more connected to what was actually happening.
That's the power of approaching 1x1s as leadership opportunities rather than administrative requirements.
Ready to Make Your 1x1s More Strategic?
If you're ready to turn your 1x1s into one of the most strategic parts of your leadership rhythm, download my 👉FREE Leader’s Guide for More Powerful 1x1s. It’s quick, practical, and designed to help you have better conversations—starting this week.
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